Bird & Bloke - Social Complexity

Guerrillas in the Mist

2006-02-08T15:55:00.000Z

My Guerrilla photography group now has 19 members! Woohoo! Have a lookee here

Photoshop!

2006-02-08T13:27:00.000Z

Went for a couple of beers with Dave, Annette and Kells Bells last night, Dave picked up my new Photoshop book for me. I am hooked already, cant wait to get it home tonight and have a play!

Walkabout: Brick Lane

2006-02-08T13:17:00.001Z

So, as usual, Knowwhere wrote most of Saturday, leaving us Sunday. Bird friend from work is leaving to go back to Ireland so we took her for a curry up Brick Lane, despite my protests that contrary to popular beleif, this is NOT the best place to get curry in London. About 11 am I thought I would walk there, and this I did. Meandering our we up to Greenwich, up round the Isle of Dogs and all the way along Commercial Road. We stopped in for a couple of swift ones at the old dockers pubs we found on the way, which to be honest were a revelation. In every one we were greeted with smiles and conversation, unlike the completely souless city pub we strayed into halfway up. I am getting really into this urband exploration on foot, you really start to notice things that most people walk right past. Plus its a great way to blow out the post E cobwebs.

eat-the-rich
Originally uploaded by gphotolondon.

canal-face

2006-02-08T13:17:00.000Z

canal-face
Originally uploaded by gphotolondon.

me-tash

2006-02-06T18:46:00.000Z

me-tash
Originally uploaded by gphotolondon.

And, into the night, as the music flows, as the biscuits flow, so I flow, round the club. Bumping into people I only bump into here and yet its like yesterday, brought together by our common love of the music, the vibe.

Parties End

2006-02-06T18:45:00.000Z

And so, to the enevitable tick of the clock the party ends and we struggle through the half daylight back to our cribs. A fitting end to one great trance party. See all the photos here.

sue

2006-02-06T10:55:00.000Z

sue
Originally uploaded by gphotolondon.

I really hope someone comes along and puts on something similar. Its not untill nights like this happen for the last time and your wandering around hugging people you only bump into here that you realise what a big part of your life they make up. Community isnt dead, its just representing itself in forms very alien to those who wander around saying 'Commmunity is dead'

us-lot

2006-02-06T10:53:00.000Z

us-lot
Originally uploaded by gphotolondon.

Knowwhere. Londons best trance night comes to an end after an unsuccessful move to Heaven. A sad day indeed but brought up by naughty disco biscuits and a surprisingly large amount of very good company. Thanks for coming you guys! hope you had fun :-)

sunset

2006-02-01T13:52:00.001Z

sunset
Originally uploaded by gphotolondon.

Sunset over a Theatre whos name I cant remember on the night of Chinese New year.

shoe

2006-02-01T13:52:00.000Z

shoe
Originally uploaded by gphotolondon.

A Lonely shoe we saw on the fence next to Honour Oak

trees2

2006-02-01T13:47:00.000Z

trees2,
originally uploaded by gphotolondon.

Ooo! It looks like I may have used up my 300 megs of pictures space on blogger so I will have to add any other pics through Flickr. Bugger. Here is a nice tree we saw on our 7.7 mile hike to Dulwich

Flickr

2006-02-01T13:37:00.000Z

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Dogs Day

2006-01-30T21:08:00.000Z

Spent Friday night with just Bird and a Darjeeling curry for company. Man that big brown turd is the best thing we ever bought I think we have slept as much on that as we have in our bed since we bought it.

Saturday, got up early to go on my next walkabout London having already decided to walk to Dulwich. The weather smiled on us as we trekked towards Ladywell over the hill. Winter sunshine streamed at us. When we reached Brockley we popped into the Brokley Jack to watch Newcastle half-heartedly defeat some two bit outfit to get to the 5th round of the FA cup.

Onwards, not a great route photgraphically speaking despite the nice weather but it was pleasent to spend the afternoon with the wife shooting the shit and setting the world to rights. Stopped in at the Horniman Museum. It blew birds mind. She thought Walrus's were the same size as sealions. Oh no...

Onwards and into Dulwich Village. For those who dont know, Dulwich Village is one of those few and far between bits of London that looks like it belongs somewhere else. An oasis of snobbery in a sea of baudy ( and much more fun) suberbs like Peckham and Brixton.

We stop in at the first pub we see having being walking for 6 miles now. Everyone seems to have at least one sprog except us. What is it that rich people lose the ability to control their children? Is it because thats the nannys job? Having got one expensive round in ( £8.25 for two drinks) we decide to head to the next boozer only to find out there isnt one. Yes. Thats right. We suddenly realise why everyone has kids here. Theres nothing to do in Dulwich but breed.

We head to East Dulwich whos eateries and more varied nightlife are getting something of a rep, and rightly deserved. But we are flaking and its soon time to wind our merry way ( on the bus this time ) back to SE London, having walked a grand total of 7.1 miles. We pop up to the Greenwich Union for a couple of swift chocolate beers before slumping into bed.

Sunday. Apart from popping up to Sainsburys to get something ncie for tea and stop us buying any more goddamn pizza we do very little. That is untill Bird buys the Sunday Mirror and for once it yields some interesting ( and true ) information. A first im sure you'll agree. Its Chinese New Year. The year of the dog to be exact. My mums year. Apparently "People born in this year are loyal, honest, and trustworthy, but can also be stubborn and selfish. Dogs get along with Horses, Rabbits, and Tigers."

Thats just as well. I also note that "People born in dog years may encounter discrimination in China during 2006, due to the belief that they will attract bad luck during the year. They may be denied jobs, homes, and other amenities by those who fear to be caught in whatever misfortunes befall them."

How unfortunate haha! I have a scary reports course to teach tomorrow. I am very nervous.

Dark Chasms

2006-01-28T00:18:00.000Z

The biggest disadvantage of mind altering drugs is the occasional swing in mood. This can come at almost any time. However, rather than seeing this as a minus point I am reminded that the smallest act of kindness or love can reach down into the chasm of ones mind and pull you out of your wallowing self-pity , shake you down, dust you off and set you right again.

Sitting at my computer this afternoon I could feel myself slipping into this self induced dark place. That feeling when the whole world seems slightly off kilter. Talking with Bird, she suggested that tomorrow on the photography trip we find somewhere and watch my beloved magpies wipe the floor with some second rate team in the FA cup. This small act of love from my wife to me was enough to set the flowers blooming in my head again and put a smile on my face.

Now it could have been the cold dank weather, but I could feel the same heavy mood descending on me on the tube on the way home. Want my own seat. Want the train to stop rocking so much. Want to not be able to hear its noise above my music. Then between songs...the tube driver piped up;
" Good afternoon everyone, this is your driver, welcome onto this east london line train to New Cross, please sit back , relax, enjoy the ride, and no matter what the day has brought you please remember to have a great weekend."

My mood is lifted. The world rights itself. Balance is restored.

HUJe & Menthol

2006-01-23T11:34:00.000Z

Sometime I seem to live an entire weekend through a single Friday night. Its just one of those things that as the weekend approaches I cant say no to anyone.

Met up with Kells Bells for a couple of swift ones before I headed to clubland. Sat in the Dirty South and revelled in the fact I was one of the mud people destined to spend their Friday night there. Rushed over to Victoria to meet Chantel who is back from Aus for a couple of days. Bless her its amazing how much you miss someone without realising it till you see them again.

Sprinted to Brixton and socially engineered Dimitri and Natalie to come with me, as well as some random bloke in the pub who I gave my number to. course he rang up at ten past one in the morning and followed us into Mass.

HUJe. What a lovely crown. Never busy, never empty, just a steady stream of perfectly balanced clubbers bopping to Ualda and Johns frenetic beats. Its beena while since I went though and aside for a couple of cheeky beers with Mark on Sunday night at the Union, it kind of blanketed the rest of my weekend in sleep and joints.

Whale of a time...

2006-01-20T14:59:00.000Z

A whale has been spotted on the river Thames. Swimming about like it aint no thang. If I was a whale I could think of more inspiring sites than the underside of Battersea Bridge, but theres no accounting for taste.

At lunchtime I went walkabout and caught the photos and words of Isabelle Merminod as she catalogued the suffering of people caught in the cogs of the UK Assylum system. Very interesting.

Clubbing tonight. mmmm....

Access Denied

2006-01-19T09:29:00.000Z

So Dunk took me to this pool hall near where I work last night where not only can you smoke naughty things but also buy them over the counter in a most civilised way. We went in. We were met at the door. obviously they have cameras up to spot people approaching. Tha man was happy to serve us some rather nice sweet mint tea, but unfortunately we must have looked too much like Old Bill, as nothing else was for sale that day. Although everyone in the room ( a heady baudy mix of mostly North African Youth) were smoking like Chimneys. We stayed for a couple fo games of pool and buggered off. Probably the sort of place you have to go several times befre that service is available.

Kong

2006-01-17T15:01:00.000Z

So we went to see King Kong on Sunday. Very good it is too. Another work of Jackson Genius, although slow to begin with the action soo comes and its worth every second of the initial build up. Thats the funny thing about remakes. Its not enough that they are a good film in their own right they have to, in some way pay homage to the original. Kong does this admirably and even if I didnt know, I could tell Jackson has wanted to make this movie for a very long time.
Go see it at the flicks...although its possible I am the only person on the planet who waited this long...

Walkabout

2006-01-15T12:13:00.000Z

Friday, we intended to go and see Kong but the idea of spending three hours in the same spot didnt really turn us on so ended up in the OLd Tigers Head to watch soem truely terrible Kareoke ( which tracy was all up for participating in) and playing pool with Annette and Dave. More drinking. Gah, never going to stick to this diet.

Saturday, Bored, got up, couldnt wait for Tracy, went to pick up Disco Biscuits. He didnt turn up, buggeration. Took the opportunity to walk along the river to Trafalgar Square from London Bridge.

Its nice walking along with just ones MP£ player for company, took in some galleries on the way. Looked round the very moving When Lives Collide exhibition which looks at the effects of car accidents on peoples lives through real life asccounts and photography. Was very sad and many people were shedding tears as they read the accounts.

On to the Tate mModern, just wanted to see what was in the turbine hall really, still some rather non descript white cubes. Looks a bit like a Star Wars set. Not as inspiring at past work I have to say.

Outside the National Theatre they have a great photography gallery of pictures taken as before and after shots from the asian Tsunami. Some really wonderful work, of which the picture I put here here does little justice.

And so, on to the Russian Winter Festival. Not particularly impressive I have to say. I hope this isnt really a representation of a culture spanning hundreds of years, apart from a sausage stall and a bloke selling Russian Dolls and hats, its just seemed like an excuse for multinational companies to peddle their shit to the punters. Was good to see the Kremlin Guard though, first time outside of Moscow they have been seen.

Oh well, ended up in the Mongolian BBQ, and a couple of swift ales, it was back home to watch the very disappointing remake of Dark Water.

And so, its Sunday again, and we WILL go and see Kong!

Horses for Courses

2006-01-10T20:31:00.000Z

Went on and interesting Disablility Discrimination course today. Learned the alphabet in sign language. Dont ask me though, I have already forgotten Z. But if the word isnt zebra then I am willing to show off my new skill :-)

Thank God its payday in a couple of days, I am skinter than a skint thing. Took these pictures while I wandered around London Bridge halfway through the course, the lunch was made up of the usual carb ridden foods so I forced myself to the shop.

Just look at how much protection the Mayor surrounds himself with. Cameras, infra red sensors, Police, the works. Makes you wonder what hes got to hide...

Happy Birthday Ayshe

2006-01-09T21:10:00.000Z

Well, I successfully went to the pub with Kristine on Friday without drinking a drop *smug look*. Was hard though, went to the George pub in Liverpool street. Very inconspicuous pub nothing like most of the shitty joints round their, riddled with banker wankers.

Saturday. Shopped. Met Ayshe for her birthday up London. Drank, swore, smoked J's in some Soho backstreets. Ended up in Bar 101 drinking ( yes, we both fell unceremoniously off the wagon, well comon it was a birthday!) wine and shooting the shit, broken by bouts of uncontrollable laughter and dancing.

Dragged Ayshe and Keith back to ours to polish off the Voddy and play a strange version of Charades involving the remainder of the Christmas chocolate. Guess you had to be there.

Woke up on Sunday feeling the pressure on my brain. Chilled and read my notes. Took my first reports course today at work. Was scary. Yet another week drags its feet till the weekend, but at least I get paid and somehow have managed to save £100 to start paying Tracy off for Las Vegas. At this rate I shall have paid off my debts sometime in the next 50 years so hooray for me.

I was quoted in the Guardian on Saturday. Only a line, but you may read it here if you so wish. I am missing clubbing. Must go soon have mdma burning a hole in my pocket.

Atkins II

2006-01-06T12:44:00.000Z

Wanda came round last night, we smoked and watched the dramatisation of the British crew which rescued that Russian Sub. I gave Wanda my Christmas pudding. I was sorry to see it go, but its evil Carbs were calling to me from the fridge.

Tonight I am meeting Kristine for a drink in the pub. This will be a good test. For those who dont know, the first two weeks of Atkins must be booze free. So I shall be sitting there watching her drink a looong cool glass of beer while I nurse I diet coke.

Its day three, I went into the kitchen to get more water ( your supposed to drink a lot of water on Atkins), someone had cruelly opened one of the Swiss rolls left over from chirstmas. I bent down and inhaled its Evil Carb aroma.

On the plus side I have lost a whole pound. Only 23 to go haha!

Atkins

2006-01-05T10:01:00.000Z

Yes. As part of my drive to loose 2 stone I am back on Atkins. Its now been 24 hours. On my third cup of black sugarless coffee. There are two Strawberry and vanilla swiss rolls in the fridge left over from Christmas. Usually I wouldnt put that shit in my mouth but now I can smell their evil carbs...
Two weeks without booze. Including Ayshes birthday party on saturday night. Arrrraaghh!

2006-01-04T12:20:00.000Z

Aww! Here are some lovely images of Cumbria, my homeland, and the Tar Barrelling we saw. Thanks Matt.

Back once again...

2006-01-03T18:16:00.000Z

Happy 2006 everyone!

Sorry its been so long since I wrote, I'd LIKE to say I've been busy but I’ve been sitting around on my fat arse doing sweet FA. Actually I did make it up north to see the folks and the siblings and to see the men of Allendale balance burning barrels of tar on their heads. Long Story. Suffice to say I am back and not a burn in sight. BUT TELL ME ABOUT THE BURNING TAR I hear you cry. Unfortunately I shamefully forgot my beloved camera so as you can understand I am cut up. Will post Matts pics soon I hope.

So did Everyone have a good chrimble? Santa bring you everything you wanted? I did very well this year, as Bird says, I am very easy to buy for, if its shiny and/or has buttons I usually want it.

Seems like only yesterday that it was my birthday and yet here we are in January all over again. So, without further ado, here are my new years resolutions:

1. To loose 2 stone
2. To do a course in either indian cookery, drumming, or ritual sacrifice.
3. To have more fun than I did last year. ( This one might be tricky)
4. To do something constructive with my computer (s)
5. To either make my job more interesting, or to find something else
6. To visit my dad at least once.

Manageable? We shall see! The saga continues....

31

2005-12-24T07:41:00.000Z

I am 31 nd one day old. 31 sounds ancient when i say it back to myself, the sort of age one attributes to parents and other respectable members of society. Does this mean I will have to calm down? Stop being a dirty stop-out? Bejesus I hope not, although I AM determined to get fit next year. Im sure my body can fit in another couple of years of abuse provided I start looking after it a little better.

Thursday night. Flash Pillow fight. Alas, no pictures dear readers this event was far too dangerous to take my camera to, however Annette took a most amusing video which I shall endevour to get put up here. Lots of nice cards and pressies from people, was lovely that you all made the effort and came along to 'another one of Daves wierd-arse events' as someone called it.

Yesterday. My Birfday! Horayy! Tracy took me to go nd see the Blue Man Show. A Euphorice Caberet event which we were going to go and see in Vegas but never got round to. People, I really cant recommmend it enough. It was quite simply stunning. Tracy and I were in stitches from beginning to end. You couldnt possibly describe what this is about to anyone, as any description wouldnt do it justice. Precisesly the reason why you will have only seen very short clips of it on TV. If you go to the Theatre once in 2006, go and see this.

And so, now its Christmas eve, I was up early, we are off to Borough Market to shop for our Christmas lunch. Sitting here plating Christmas carols to try and entice bird our of the bedroom so we can go. Ooo! Found some photos of Pillow Fight Club

Santacon 05

2005-12-19T20:44:00.000Z

OMG! Santacon. What kept me away last year?!?! Fear of not being able to drag anyone with me? Why the hell would that matter when there are 400 of you all dressed as santa? Turn round and your mates have all blended into a sea of red anyway so you might as well, make the effort and turn up.

I was so Excited. I woke about 630 am and just couldnt sleep and more so I got up and made mulled wine, filling my thermos's with my heady vrew ( plus special ingradient, thankyou duncan). Was well needed. Freezing outside we arrive to the pub in good spirits. There are already over 100 santas in the pub and getting to the bar is like trying to swim through a red felt hurricane. Already things are getting boisterous and we are led out by a huge dreadlocked santa who was thoughtful enough to bring a megaphone.

By this time half my Special Reserve Port is gone and ive started on the mulled wine which is going down a treat. People stop and stare as 300 santas file into the internation HQ of the Freemasons. It isnt the security guards fault that we are not allowed past the entrance hall so we stop and sing them a rude version of merry christmas.

Next stop, the Wellington pub on the strand. They dont mind, they do a rip roaring trade as bearded festive types pour beer over themselves and squeeze themselves into phone boxes to the delight and applause of their peers.

I sit and chew the fat with some lady santas while Dimitri begs them for kisses wearing the worlds smalles piece of Mistletoe behind his ear. He gets a mixed reception. Its already getting dark and I am beginning to stagger, but a new lease of life dawns as I turn into Trafalgar Square to be confronted with a sea of red surrounded by bemused tourists snapping the action. I have long ago lost my dirty words to the christmas carols so i conduct from the front as bunches of santa sing different carols. Noone minds. Most of them have long since stoped trying to hold a tune and are content to throw sweets to the tourists.

Next virgin megastores and im seriously worse for wear after a couple of joints courtesy of Paul. My camera hates the cold and is now refusing to turn on, buggeration. Still, there is time for a 400-santa conga round the classical music section of Virgin megastore before I realise its time to make my retreat. Yet another one of those events that certainly defies explanation and your really need to witness for yourself!

Sunday, had the in laws round with Annie and Matt as well. Very nice. I cooked Champ. Wearnt bad. Whited out. Passed out. Woke myself up snoring. Passed out again. End of weekend. BTW, here are the rest of my Santacon 05 pictures. Here are someone elses

Sanatcon 2005

2005-12-14T16:35:00.000Z

Went round to Marks lady firend Estephanias house for dinner last night. Was nice to be reminded that as well as making the worlds thinnest roll ups Mark can also cook. Very nice evening. And Steph. What a lovely young woman she is.

SANTACON time and meeting place has been announced! For those who dont know, Santacon is:

"This is SantaCon. Influenced by the surrealist movement, Discordianism, and other subversive art currents, the 'Con artists celebrate the Yule season in a distinctly anti-commercial manner, by mixing guerilla street theatre, pranksterism, and public drunkenness. The idea is to gather a mob of as many willing people to dress in cheap Santa Claus costumes and perform publicly on the streets and in bars. Also known as Santarchy, Santa Rampages and the Red Menace, SantaCon events are noted for bawdy and harmless behavior, including the singing of naughty Christmas carols, and the passing out of adult-oriented gifts such as condoms to adults. Many participants bring small gifts that would be suitable for children. It is seen by some as a postmodern revival of Saturnalia. It is also a precursor of the flash mob. NO ELVES!"

So...come on the whos coming? So far I have 4! come on people! Mark just rang up very excited saying hes found Lewishams last two santa outfits. Hoorayy!

Playing Cupid

2005-12-12T10:15:00.000Z

Well. Here we are at Monday again. Spent Friday night at the Elbow Rooms in Angel, shooting pool and pushing two people together who know exactly who they are ;-)
Seems to have worked :-)

Managed to cram a weekends worth of activities into saturday. Bought the Christmas tree ( pictures to follow ) carried the bastard home, sawed some of the trunk off so that it would fit in the holder with the tiniest letherman knife in the world. It was like something out of Krypton Factor.

Went and watched the first half of Newcastle vs Arsenal, which we won. Much to the surprise of everyone, including me. Rolled joins, packed biscuits, donned orange jumpsuit, trudged through the cold damp evening to Greenwich and had a chocolate beer at the Union with Paul, kim and Frank. Met Marks lady. Very nice. Flying visit. Must get to Signs of Life where I am snapping tonight. Back out in the murky winter. Meet up with Wanda and Natalie.

Signs of Life went in a blur the way things do when your taking too many class A's. Im going to be 31 in a couple of weeks and really should know better. Better venue this time. Tooks some nice pictures ( to follow). Chatted shit with Wanda most of the night about the kind of stuff you only talk about when under the influence of anything more potent than coffee.

Crawled home at four thirty AM, fell asleep on the big brown turd. Sunday, wandered around town in that sleepy trighlight you get from too little sleep and MDMA comedown. Colours are brighter. Sounds are clearer. The throngs of irate shoppers dont bother me half as much as the seem to be bothering Bird. I buy presents. An Tinsel. I buy Bird a burger at Wetherspoons, feel like I havent seen her all weekend :-( So looking forward to a nice Christmas with her :-)

I sleepily watch her decorate the tree and happily wrap my families presents for me. I do not feel guilty. Not only is she a better wrapper than me, her gleeful expression tells me she is content to do it, and I am more than content to watch her from the safety of the sofa.

Monday. Its grey. Was up some of the night finishing the photos from the weekend. Hope Mike likes them. Am learning tips and tricks in photoshop I wished I had bothered to learn ages ago. Its quiet in work. I am resisting the urge to eat into my lunch. You can see all the pictures from the weekend here.

Wedding Party Photos

2005-12-10T11:38:00.000Z

Well, here they are, finally, I havent put them on the blog because there are so many, id probably break it, they are listed on Flickr. If you open yourself a free Flickr account you can add comments if you like :-)
Thanksyou so much everyone, Me and Tracy had an absolute ball, we hope you did too. So without further ado, here are the photos, or you might like to view them as a slideshow.

What no photos?!!?

2005-12-08T09:57:00.000Z

I know, terrible! I am halfway through Vixtas so expect some tonight I think. In the meanitme, here is an amusing pictures of me carrying home Tracy and My christmas pressie to each other. No, its not a big brown turd, its a beanbag, and very comfortable it is too.

Bean Bags

2005-12-01T21:43:00.000Z

We have just bought our first present to each other as a married couple. A huuuuuuuuge bean bag :-) I used to have a bean bag when i was little. This one is much bigger. And so am I. It will replace the horrible gingham sofa underneath our window so we can see the beautiful woodwork behind it. It seems silly that one of the things we like best about our flat is hidden behind an awful piece of furnture. I have been looking into starting a new website ( yes, another one). About Guerilla photography. My concept is to encourage friends, family, strangers, etc to make trips around the environment they find themselves in and record their experience through the medium of photography. Wether on their phone or with their thousand pounds of digital camera, I am looking to expose this urban landscapes soft underbelly. My own trips will probably be fuelled with one kind of drug or another, I but I do promise fun. The only stipulent I ask is that you bring some sort of recording device. Beit camera, phone, sounds recorder, notebook and pen, its up to you. Details to follow.

Still Alive

2005-12-01T14:05:00.000Z

Some of you may be wondering if we are still alive. We are. We have not posted pictures of our stupendous wedding party yet due to our blatently not taking any, and illness of the people who did. I shall endeavour to rectify this situation over the next few days. In the meantime, you can build a snowman.

Thoughts on Weekends

2005-11-21T15:02:00.000Z

Weekends are funny. One minute your staring down the barrel of another drink and drugs fuelled episode coupled with chronic lack of sleep, the next minute its monday morning and your stumbling round the flat in a brain dead stupour trying to find your other shoe. Life, as the say was sent to try us.
Unfortunately the beautiful people at Bulldog seem to have broken my broadband connection which is nice, hence , I am doing all the updating of my blog from work. This means in effect that your will have to look here for the lovely pictures from the weekened.

Huje was good, I am soo glad it doesnt clash with Knowwhere any more. Spent saturday at the football with Bird. Got driven there and back by Cheaufeur dont you know and had a rather lovely meal followed by watching Chelsea thrash my beloved Newcastle to the point of death. Buggers. Oh well. Stayed in the hotel that night and saw some good comedy but the strain was starting to take its toll. We spent most of sunday trailing round the shops collecting bits for our party and eating anything that stopped moving for long enough. ONLY A FEW DAYS TO GO! I hope everyone reading this is still coming!

Night Moves

2005-11-18T15:52:00.000Z

Winter is here. Its Friday. I am in the office watching dusk creep along the walls of the building opposite. I can feel the city gathering its resources for the weekends onslaught. Im wearing my big Abercrombie Jacket, although unfashionable, I feel about this jacket the way Vikki feels about her car. Its like going out into the cold enclosed in a little bubble of home with my mp3 player, camera, phone, wallet, all at readyness for a nights frivolity on the dirty streets.

Bring
It
On

Flyers

2005-11-14T12:32:00.000Z

Hmm...think i might pop along to this at some point this gallery this week. They have an exibition of flyer artwork. I used to collect flyers quite regularly and used to have a big stash, some of them over ten years old now ( christ showing my age here).

Lazy Sunday

2005-11-14T00:51:00.000Z

Spent the day lounging aroundthe house falling in and out of sleep mode. Woke up about 1 and watched I Heart Hucklebees. A strange mash of philosophy and comedy spun in a woven tale of mispent lives and theraputic abomination. made us laugh more than once. Jason Swartzman in the role of his career to date.

Wandered into Lewisham after dark, good fidledee band in Dylans, stayed for a quick Guiness and then went to Up the Creeks new £5 Sunday night comedy. Worth Every Penny. God the very end of Sundays suck. Wghy hasnt this sunday feeling left me since I was at school? Inside me there is a stupidly rich person trying to get out.

The students in Up the Creek Annoy me. They live in nice flats. They can afford to drink in the places I drink. They have nerver tasted rolling tobacco. Bastards. An amusing point came as we watched one student layabout trying to teach another student layabout how to snort Ketamine. How we laughed as she exited to puke her guts up. Arent we evil? Oh well.

Chill Out Planes

2005-11-13T11:33:00.000Z

WEll, my not drinking kind of went out the window as soon as the weekend raised its head, as I kind of knew it would. After four days of abstinance I manged to get very tipsy indeed after just a couple of pints after work. GTod they are a strange bunch at LASA they really are. I wish I could put my finger on why.

So we went to Legalise Conkers. Electrowerks is an interesting club. Not terribly big, but thats OK, as I got the impression they were expecting more people. Nice funky house beats though and fantastic chill out plane made out of the fuselage of an old Royal Navy transport plane. Fuck knows how they got it in there.

I like going out with Wanda, shes never adverse to get getting a taxi home, which at this time of year especially is my favorite.

Saturday was spent mostly on the sofa, stil struggling with my sleep patterns. Had Dave, Annette and Hedley round to watch England beat Argentina in the closing minutes of play. Very exciting! Sat around and watched the directors cut of Evil Dead.

Swapsies

2005-11-11T15:26:00.000Z

One of the annoying things about the trip to vegas we me running out of camera space and having to spend valuable battery life sifting through my pics and deleting the shit ones. Eventually not even this was enough and I had to downgrade the quality of the pics I was taking. No longer! Just bought myself a nice 512 MB Card for my baby so that should keep up going for a while. And only £25 :-) For once I dont feel ripped off :-)

Incidentally if anyone can use a 64 MB one I now have one going spare. Going to a night called Legalise Conkers at Electrowerks tonight. Crrraaazzzy.

Post Marriage Vegas

2005-11-10T23:27:00.000Z

Man I cant beleive in a couple of days i'll be in my second week of married life. OK hre are the photos from the rest of the trip. The day after we got married we managed to wrangle ourselves a free trip to the Hoover Dam. AMERICAN CUSTOMER SERVICE LESSON 2: Despite us paying a much reduced rate for our combined trip to the Grand Canyon and the Hoover dam, it turned out when we went to the Canyon that they had slightly over booked the seats and had to refund us our money for the Hoover Dam bit. We got a call a couple of days later apologising ( even though we had got a full refund in cash ) and offering to take us for free!

Its pretty impressive even when your up close and a rare opportunity to pop over into Arizona for a minute. Literally.

Theres a nice one of bird next to Lake Meade. Well you can build a bloody big dam and not expect a bloody big lake now can you?

On the way back, we stopped off at M&M world. Thats right. Tracy Heaven. We bought chocolate. she ate it. Well OK, I may have nibbled on the corner of one or two as well. Bizzarely, although I use that word very loosely being as we were still on the outskirts of Vegas it has one of nevadas biggest Cactus Gardens. OK, here are the final few pics I took, well the best ones anyway. Suffice to say we went to probably the BEST club I have been to for a long time. The Voodoo Lounge on the 55th floor of the Rio Hotel. You must go there if in Vegas. The DJ in the picture below must just have the best job in the world. The other main highlight of our remaining days in vegas was our trip to the Star Trek experience. Tracy got her photo with a Klingon, who suggested a Klingon Pain stick for the Training of her new husband. Quite.
OK, regular broadcast will resume from tomorrow. Mr and Mrs Baker...signing off..

Love, Marriage, and Vegas Baby

2005-11-05T10:18:00.000Z

Well, and so begins a new phase in our lives. Its probably easier to let many of the pictures do the talking for me. Lazy I know, but sit back, get yourself a nice sweet sherry, and let the slideshow begin!
Here are the girls outside the newest hotel on the strip. They only finished it in April, isnt it purdy? Steve Wynn opened the self-named Wynn resort to much fanfare. He also of course built the Mirage and the Bellagio, two of the other most expensive hotels on the strip. Rich bugger.
To give you some idea of the plushness, here is Tracy in the hallways of Wynn later on. They have Masserati and Ferrari showrooms actually inside the hotel, as well as one of the best stocked art gallerys in the western united states. Mostly from Wynns personal collection. Unlike Circus Circus where we were staying, you can almost smell the money in these upper class hotels, especially as you wander around the poker tables that have $500 minimum bets. People who could quite easily pay off our mortgage simply by dropping a couple of their chips on the floor.

OK, bugger doing this in order, we'll do the hotels. If your going to vegas you really have to go to ALL the hotels. Rather than just boring collections of rooms, each one of these is a huge resort in its own right, with free shows, clubs, resteurants, mostly themed along the same line as the hotel. Here is Annie on the VERY bouncy Monorail going past the Luxor. One of the things that annoyed me to start with about Las Vegas is that Public Transport is completely rubbish. The buses, although air conditioned are really slow. There are about three monorails, none of which seem to go anywhere, basically because they are owned by the hotels so they only go to the hotels owned by the same people. Crrazy. Taxis are rife, but quite expensive. The pic below Annie is one of the main through-ways between Luxor and The Mandalay Bay.
The Stratosphere. Tallest building west of the Missisippi river. Its getting on a bit now, and the casino has lost some of its lusture in the presence of the Venetian, Bellagio, Wynn etc, but it still houses one of the best restaurants on the strip at the top of its revolving head.

New York-New York. Cant think why they called it that. We went on that roller coaster. Tracy Cried.

The fountain shows outside the Bellagio really are something else. Coreographed fountains spout water to different song routines. we saw one on our last night set to Your Song, by Elton John which happens to be one of mine and Tracys favorites. She cried again.

The top thats the Flamingo. Its one of the older hotels on the strip and one of the original ones owned and built by the gangsters who pretty much ran las vegas from the 50's onwards. Named after a particular gangsters bit on the side, he was gunned down outside her house only a couple of years after it was built. Crime doesnt pay kids. The bottom one is me outside Ceasars Palace.
OK, thats enough of the strip. Its easy to forget that Las Vegas REALLY started downtown. OK the casinos are nothing like the ones on the strip, but it has a much more homely and 'real' feel compared to the fantasy land of the strip. The strip only exists because developers wanted cheap land on the edge of vegas as the land downtown was too expensive. Talk about role reversal! The entertainment is still vegas though, as this rock band outside the Palza hotel downtown prooved. Nice leopard skin mate.

Down Town fights back! Because visitors now go strait to the strip downtown started to take a real downward spiral. Their answer is the above. The Freemont Street experience. This is one of the first streets in Las Vegas and is now completely roofed in by this huge LCD display running the whole length of the street. They put on several nightly shows like these ones. Everything is cheaper this end of town, the beers, the casinos, everything.

Tracy had her own ideas about public transport in Vegas.

OK, so wednesday was the day of Annie and Michaels wedding. A VERY different affair from ours, at the Venetian, one of the best hotels on the strip. A fine wedding for a very fine couple, thanks for letting us be a part of it you guys, all the best for the future. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

Recovery time was well needed after that so we spent the next couple of days trawling the casinos at some of the best hotels

This is Elmer doing rather well at the Roulette. We all gambled, and we all lost except him. I was up $55 dollars at one point but of course the house always wins, and must have been laughing as I plugged my winnings back onto the table waiting for that big one. Silly arse. You can see why they make the drinks free in the casinos. Makes you gamble more, and harder.

Me and Tracy took a flight in the smallest plane in the world over the Grand Canyon just as the sun was rising. Breathtakinly beautiful, but I tell you I will never complain about turbulence again. rather than the occasional side to side movement, we lurched sickeningly up and down as the thermals from the canyon knocked sever shade of shit out of our little plane. More than one of the middle aged American couple reaching for thier sick bag. The constant shaking also made it very hard to take photos, but here are some of the better ones:

All Good fun

Here are some very nice hippies we met from Northern California. They had a very cute puppy with them which Tracy fell in love with. They also had some very nice weed which they gave me a handful of. They were from Humboldt county which apparently grows the best in the world. Was very strong. Didnt actually finish all of it. I left the remainder in the hotel room bible under the section on 'Passages to read in times of stress' Someone might appreciate that.

OUR WEDDING DAY!
WE got up early on saturday, and hangover free! Tracy and Annie went to the hotels pampering rooms to have their hair done and faces painted. I charged around Vegas looking for a cheap charger for my phone. Ended up getting the times wrong and running back about a mile alone the edge of town. Only to find I still had over an hour. In my panic I had been banging on the wrong door thinking it was mine.

Turned out about half an hour before that, Tracy had come back and banged on the same door. Whoever was inside must have thought they'd been put in with the looneys.

This is me about half an hour before my marriage. As you can see I have become slightly unhinged.
And so, here are the pictures from our wedding day. I would recommend this method of getting married to anyone in the world. It was SO much fun and everyone made us feel so special on the day it was as close to perfect as marrige ceremonies get. Here are the photos, sort of in the order they were taken:

Married by the King. Seriously people get your little bottoms over there and try it for yourself. It made us wish we could get married every week :-)
And so, we cruised in the Limo and started drinking. Here is our first drink as a married couple. Well we thought we had better make it a big one!

For our wedding meal we booked the Restaurant at the top of the Stratosphere. Its over 800 feet above the strip and as the doors of the escalator slid back This beautiful view of the sun setting behind the Sierra Mountains and strip all lit up hit us.

Meal was fantastic. Exceptional food, even more exceptional company, perfect end to the day.
American Lesson in Customer Service Number One: When we had finished the meal, there was some steak left and some side orders so we asked for a doggy bag. Our excellent waiter said this would be no problem. Another over-zealous member of staff cleared our plates before he could arrange this however, so he went into the kitchen and came back ten minutes later with a freshly cooked piece of fillet steak with all the trimmings all nicely done up in a box for us. How about that? Needless to say we tipped big.

OK folks, thats the wedding photos, did the trip stop there? Christ no! But digest these dear readers as its now 5.26am, and having just cooked breakfast ( we are finding sleep very difficult) I suppose I had better get my head down for an hour before we have to bugger off back to work. In the meantime, you can watch the wedding video here, ( click on Dbaker wedding or see more photos here.

Criminal Conviction

2005-10-25T15:27:00.000Z

Hey Y'all!

That could have been the shortest holiday in history.

I came off the plane in Atlanta in a cold sweat. For thos who dont know the full story, i discovered due to my naughtiness last year on my birthday that I am supposed to have a visa to enter the US. Needless to say I dont.

Atlanta. Im so scared I can barely speak to bird while we get off the plane. We walk towards imigration I can feel cold beads of sweat running down my back as I fumble my bags onto a waiting trolly. I have already ticked the box on my immigration card saying that I have never been arrested. All the while I am wondering if I am going to spend tonight in some jail cell with some 300 pound nutcase from some backwater town in Georgia, only to get the next plance home with a very sore bottom.

Immigration cue is low. then, I see it and almost crap my pants. They are taking peoples fingerprints. Thats it. Im outa here. The urge to run is almost too strong to resist. Its us next. Can the huge immigration official tell? Can he smell my fear? I know i can. I press my sweaty fingers to the red light. He looks at me. Then smiles. I feel myself talking to him cheerily about getting married as if listening to a far off piece of music. Then, hes waving us through. Im in. Elation overtakes me and it takes me a few seconds flat to down my first beer in america, babbling insantiy to Bird as I look around me in wonderment. I cant help feel like Ive beaten the system in some Way.

SO! Las Vegas! Hyave been wandering around cruising the strip for about 48 hours now. very little sleep. Bird snores contentedly while I watch American and Mexican TV and wander aimlessly in a city which truely never sleeps. Our first night we discover a hotdog stand selling 3lb hotdogs. Must be a misprint I think as I wait in line for one at 2am on sunday morning. Then as I watch the woman uses two hands to pull what can only be described as a donkeys penis out of a tub of hot brine. she puts it in a woefully inadequate bun, cuts it in half and ladles two huge helpings of Chilli over the top. I realise then that there is a small american inside me trying to get out.

We cruise the strip, meet the Annies, buy drink. havent taken many photos yet. Las Vegas it a strange place. It really never sleeps. Everything is false. The whole city. A huge concrete mirage arising from the desert sands. Plastic grass grows from plastic cans while plastice palm trees russtle in the breeze. Everything in Las Vegas is about an illusion that all of the inhabitants seem to be chasing. The illusion that they are somehow going to beat the house and go home winners. Few do, but that doesnt stop my plugging the nearest slot machine with hard earned quarters. I win nothing. I give my last three to Annie and she comes back with a huge cupful. Bloody begginers luck.

Its very expensive here, unles your eating which might as well be free. Those of you who know me well will realise this is fine with me :-)

Clubs are expensive, drink is, I am presuming the women who cruise the strip are, although TRacy says I am not allowed to enquire. Its hot. I am getting the begiinnings of summer colouration. Today, again I have left Tracy sleeping and am going to go for a walk and take some pitures. Anyway, my time is nigh. Hope your are all fine in England, forgot my bloody phone charger, so dont expect drunken calls on this holiday peeps

Take Care Y'all

breasts and bottoms

2005-10-20T13:45:00.000Z

Dave and I decided on some light relief before I am a married man and set off for the Flying Scotsman, where, as one review put it you can see strippers "like the rear end of a diarrhoea-stricken bulldog"

Quite. After a few pints in the Ruby Lounge though, and after being joined by Dunk we head off in its general direction to watch them shake their thang. And shake their thang they did and we went home worse for wear and completely out of 50p's. Very nice too.

Will be nice to spend a night at home though. Bird is out so its curry and sofa for davey tonight.

Feels like goodbye

2005-10-19T09:32:00.000Z

Went out and got rip roaring drunk with Kristine last night. She took me to the Nobuyoshi Araki photography exibit at the Barbican. Very good photographer. Hes got a bit of a thing about naked Japanese women. And bondage. And lizards come to think of it. Very talented though. I very much liked the walls of Polaroid’s he took of his subjects and his ideas about Polaroid’s producing instant pictures that felt personal to both the taker and the subject because of the immediate availability unlike standards which require developing. I have a similar feeling about digital photography. Some GREAT shots of clouds as well, which as some of you know i am a big fan of :-)

After that we drank pints and shooters at the rather lovely if expensive Cuban bar. When we called it a night some hours later it felt like goodbye in a weird way. Ive seen a couple of people now and the hugs have felt more like im dropping of the face of the planet than getting married. Promise to come back guys! Ta for a great night Kris!

Stag Mk II

2005-10-16T19:00:00.000Z

Well, some of us are lucky to get two bites of the cherry. WE buggered off to Greenwich and a couple of the peeps unable to make it to the stag and hen dos came down for a couple of drinks. Weird weather, was 22 outside today, its the middle of October, WTF is all that about? Pat came down, really dont see him as often as I should nows he’s moved to Southend. Had a nice couple of pints by the river.

Me and bird went and got a milkshake from this new place in Greenwich, They must do at least a couple of hundred different flavours. Settled on Oreo Cookie, although when Tracy isnt there I am secretly going to go back and try a marmite one. Purely in the interests of science you understand.

Ed and Aurelia came down with ANOTHER baby! Because we don’t see them very often either sometimes it seems like they are CHURNING them out! John came down and our coven was complete for the afternoon sifting through the tourists and looking down our noses at the chavs which seem to have infested Greenwich at the moment. Perhaps im just getting old. Perhaps a couple of years ago those Chavs were us.

My sister came over and we disappeared up to annies to burn her garden down again, as we do every year. We chatted with the neighbours and Tracys mum and dad came over to say goodbye to Tracy Dunn ( she will be Tracy Baker when shes gets back :-)

Annie and I made a particularly fine chilli and we ate chilli dog and shot the shit for hours. Got a bit stoned with Rob and ended up explaining to Annies mum and boyfriend my theory that fire is mans way of giving birth to something in the absence of a womb. They were surprisingly receptive to my ramblings. They may have just been humouring me :-)

Today we woke up with hangovers but meandered into Lewisham. Managed to find boots, and a shirt to wear with my suit to get married in. Philly found me an almost disgustingly accurate tie to finish off my ensemble. She really has mums eye for co-ordination.

Monday tomorrow. God only one week to go though and I can disappear for a couple! woohoo!

Is it Art?

2005-10-14T18:33:00.000Z

So yes, on Tuesday we made our wasy down the the Escape galler for Marks multimedia art extravaganza. Herne Hill is a bit of a wierd place. It straddles a particulary uninteresting road between the shitiest end of Brixton and Peckham, and yet is is filled with trendy cafes and bars. Give me some brixton goat curry and rice any day. Still Escape is ok, there are a few more nutters in there than one would expect in an art gallery and the staff are shit, but there are some interesting works up there.

Marks show consisted of a dvd of short animated films from his new baby project Renderyard. Many were of a very high standard and Marks was definately in the top 5 I would say. Some of them were complete shite but it made the other shine with greater brightness.

Had a nice evening with my sister and her mates, seems like she got a nice crowd down there so I feel happier.

It was John Peel Day yesterday. Gigs spread from London to the rest of the country, France, Germany, Canada, the US. Was gratifying to see that it even got some TV airtime. We trawled the East end and doged the whores ducking into bars to slake our thisrt and taking pictures on my sexy new phone. I love doing this, nowhere to go except the city streets it reminds me that I am a complete cityholic, cant get enough of the orange lights and smog baby.

This eveing when I got home, I looked out the window to see some drunk bugger holding himself up by the lamp post. Watching him sway about, it looked like a drunken pole dancer untill he lay himself on the pavement and quietly went to sleep. Should I have rushed out to help him? Fuck that shit, I wasnt in the mood to polish my halo, to I took pictures instead. Yes, I know I am evil. It gets worse. I also have a video :-) Will try to show you soon dear readers.

Bloody French

2005-10-13T14:53:00.000Z

Have just been reading my manual for my new phone, apparently it is illegal to use Bluetooth devices whilst outside in France due to radio static. Wierdos.

Phones...4 Me...

2005-10-13T14:16:00.000Z

At last. After much whipping of the monkeys working for o2, and their subsequent whipping of the one celled life forms working at DHL I finally get my lovely shiny new Motorola RAZR V3
Horay! new shiny toy with plenty of buttons to make sure that work becomes a secondary priority for the afternoon. Went to Marks Multimedia art show last night, will put a proper review up when I get home of that.
Left my new baby to charge and went for a curry with Dunc. Wandered about the back of Brick Land for a while shooting the shit, ended up stumbling accross the mythical Pool and Snooker club you can smoke dope in that Dunk told me about last week. Promised to pop back later :-)

Andy, the chief officer has asked me to have a look into something to do for Christmas with this place. Bless him, what hes doesnt realise is that the thought of spending a social party with some of the people here makes me want to cry and curl into the foetal position. Oh well, i'll give it a shot.

Shes not a Lesbian, shes just shy...

2005-10-10T21:44:00.000Z

Saturday: Its a loooong time since mark and I got falling down drunk together, so we did. Joined by my sister we drank the Worlds End dry and poked fun at the children of Goth. Fun.

Sunday: Took my MP3's for a strolll around london ended up walking from Whitechapel to Bank. Not really seen many of the buildings round there close up, but they are a standing testiment to the history of londons financial might. floated down Oxford street, finally found something to wear for my own wedding. Nice brown linen number. Certainly smart enough to take Torie and bird to the new, and rather delicious Mongolian BBQ in covent garden.

Sign of Life

2005-10-08T10:05:00.000Z

Wednesday: FINALLY met up with Dave and gave him his sponsor money for biking from here to Anglesea ( spelled wrong more than likely).
Had a bit of trouble with seratonin loss following from last weeks frivolity but am all good now.
Thursday: Went to Lee Hurst comedy again, this time with the rest of the AIMS team. We had seen a couple of the guys last time we were here, but they were good so didnt mind. Third comedian bordered on racist and delivered the kind of humour I found funny when I was 12. Still, got to make a living any way you can I guess. you would have thought one of his friends might have mentioned to him that hes not funny though. Maybe he doesnt have any friends who knows.

Friday. God this week has dragged, I welcome the weekend with open arms. Its Phillys birthday horaayy! Its soo good having her in London, like having a little piece of home on my doorstep. She seems like shes doing really well. Bless bird, she bought Philly a little pressie and a card, and made up for my own lack of funds right now. As if I needed another reason to marry her!

Sank a couple of beers with Philly and Jess and delivered her birthday bottle of vodka. ( Yes, we still have some left, see entries from last week). Took bird and wicked wanda to the Signs of Life festival. What a revalation. I forgot I actually went to one of theses years ago, when it was stil very hippyish.

The hippies have mostly been replaced by rave children and techno goths which was refreshing. There is always a half-hour feeling of aprehension and wonder that most other people seem to know each other and that we have invaded a private party. I soon realise that many of these new breed lie in wait for this opportunity to revel. Its difficult to keep this feeling when you go out as often as we do I guess.

Top visuals from the Iconcious crew and a VERY good 3-part female rap funk outfit rocked the cavernous victorian railway arches. Must get their name, they would go down a storm on the beach! Bird is getting tired, damn, just as they start playing some funky electro beats in the main room. We dance till we are sweaty then head for home.

A Lesson in Customer Service

2005-10-04T19:39:00.000Z

Starting my career on a helpline gave me an advantage when it came to dealing with them from the point of view of the consumer.
Top Tip: If you find yourself waiting on hold in a queue, wait for 1.5 minutes, then hang up and ring again. Wait for 1.5 minutes, then do the same again. Keep doing this and I promise that after doing this several times you will get through no problem. Once call centres see the number of DROPPED calls going up, their first reaction is to get bums on seats answering calls. Its even possible that you might get top speak strait to a manager or team leader because of this policy, instead of the usual trained monkeys.
Works every time with o2. Heres another one for phone companies. If your planning to leave your phone company, make sure your last bill is quite high. When they pass you through to the 'Please Mr Baker, dont leave us' department, tell them you doubt there is much they can do for you. Thats what I did ( my last months phone bill was £121 quid) and they now have me on a contract with 300 texts and 800 minutes to any network at any time for £30 a month.

That will teach the bastards to mess with me.

Tired Stags and knackered Hens

2005-10-03T20:05:00.000Z

It started with my brothers arrival on the thursday night and dbauchery hardly stopped for a breather for me or bird untill late sunday afternoon.
Too many highlights to name so I thought I would just put up the pictures which more or less speak for themselves :-) If any of birds hens have pics they wanna put up, you know my email address! Just want to thank everyone for coming, felt proper stagged up, but SPECIAL thanks go to Kelly for trying so hard to keep the troops happy and entertained :-)

One Day to go!

2005-09-29T08:33:00.000Z

Only one day to go untill severe alchahol and drug abuse ensues. Hang on, thats every other weekend too innit? Ahh but this one will be fully justified, I will be the stag, and my fellow stags will be with me en masse. Cant wait, my brother arrives today from the frozen plains of the north and I spent yesterday evening carting home cases of gin and vodka for the madness to follow. Met Mark and Shelina at Victoria though so that was nice.

Im bored at work, I looks up what wikipedia had to say about stag nights. Their entry was clearly written by the most boring person alive. Reasonably accurate though ;-)

Beach Reclaimed

2005-09-26T19:50:00.000Z

Well, it didnt start well. I got down there at about one to help set up the screen for the films, hung around for about an hour but Toby never turned up. Oh well, got me out the house. Had a good chat with Dan, one of the film contributors which was nice.

So, after an hour I buggered off home, to find that Bird had made Vodka jellys. Well thats not strictly accurate. Being as we now have a huge load of gin in the house she made GIN jellys. But just for good measure added the last of our Ukranian Chilli Vodka which gave them some kick I tell thee.

I head out about 9:30, having sampled the disco biscuits, travel into london, earphones on, trance thumping, I love doing this at the weekend, excited Londoners all around gearing themselves up to throw themselves to the weekend Lions.

More Later. Marting Scorceses docurama about Bob Dylan is on.
Ok, im back. Man, lots of stuff i didnt know about Mr Dylan. Think i will download some of his early albums.

Anyway, as you can see, RTB with its usual musical and cinematic frenzy lept upon us and consumed us for a few hours as we inhabited the beach outside Southbank. What people. Best crowd for a looooooong time this is what it should all about.

Didnt know as many films as I had hoped, but the fire roared, I met the guys from Blunt Productions, and actually the guys from Exploding Cinema. What a splendid time. I really must remember to get too fucked at these things otherwise I get Mental blockage and STOP TAKING PHOTOS!

Good to see some new faces down there, and some usual ones. Special Hi go to Tom and Sue, pleasure as always peeps. What was your mates name? Top Gear ;-)

My sister came down! Bless her, the makings of a Londoner. In ten years I can look back and say to her, remember your first weekend in London I took you to Reclaim the Beach? Stuff dreams are made of babe!
Sunday: Written Off. Monday: Back at work. ONLY 4 DAYS TILL STAG WEEKEND

Sunrise

2005-09-24T07:36:00.000Z

Mmm...woke up at 6am this morning and no matter what I did, couldnt get back to sleep. Why does this always happen to me? I lol about and annoy bird until she wakes up, she mutters something and 5 seconds later shes asleep again, but me? No, I have to get up and watch the sun rise. The house is cold which adds to the Autumnal wintery gold light bathing our flat. I put on Rise FM and realise that this is why I had to get up. To see this.

Lying on the sofa by the window listening to Trance, thinking, Vikki and Puppies will probably be just leaving the club by now, on their way home after a night of frivolity at Soundshaft. They are off to the US today, have a good trip girlies.

Bombay...

2005-09-23T14:52:00.000Z

Birds very very very very good friend has just delivered 18 bottles of Vodka and 18 bottles of Gin for our wedding. That officially makes them my very very very very good friend too.

Drunk

2005-09-23T09:27:00.000Z

Tracy had her pre-hen Kareoke night last night.

Wandering about the house this morning still singing to herself ( still tipsy) it wasnt till she got halfway to Lewisham she realised she had put her top on inside out. How I laughed.

The week that was

2005-09-23T09:10:00.000Z

Well, my sisters first week in the smoke draws to a close, THINK she is ok, took her for a drink on Tuesday, she seems to be settling in fine, but you never can tell in Freshers week can you. Apparently, ( she corrected me ) it is not Freshers Fortnight. Sheeesh! I only just survived a week of intense alchahol abuse let alone two!

Hopefully she will come to RTB on Saturday. Chrsit thats been a trauma. this month will be a FILM reclaim the beach. Only it just occurred to someone three days before its due to happen that noone collected the screen from last time we have one so of course now its floating somewhere in the north sea. Muggins here is going to buy some huuuuge sheets of white cloth at lunchtime so we should be fine.

More Tornados for Texas. Hope Yukis family are safe :(

Old Father Thames Round II

2005-09-19T19:13:00.000Z

Another 12 hour day. This week we started on the other side up by city hall. Theres really good arial photography exibition on up there at the moment, well worth a visit.

Just me and bird for most of the day this time, was nice. Another round of saltfish fritters. Manage to rememebr a couple of joints this time round. Music was better, some very good Laptop DJ's called Portable. Cant seem to find out much about him on the net though, one of those elusive types no doubt.

Met up with Sue and some of the girls from Tracys work. Hed came down on his bike, and we sat and chatted and smoked and watched the fireworkd and the procession.

Gets better every year. Jesus my feet feel like bloody stumps after 24 hours of wandering about. Must be getting old. Apart for some minor hysterics on mums part, I think Philly is now plonked at Southwark Uni. Told her about the fireworks, she came down but was just too many peopel to meet. Hope she comes to RTB this weekend!

Old Father Thames

2005-09-19T18:11:00.000Z

The Thames Festival. MUCH better than last year, although the music on the saturday wasnt great, it was nice to wander about the shops and stalls, drinking beers with bird and eating saltfish fritters. Was one of those nice crisp Autumn days, with a chill in the air but still the last dregs of summer sun leaking through the watery sky. One of my favorite times of year.

They had an exhibition of New Europe, all the latest Eastern countries to be accepted got to show their wares. We stuffed our bags with leaflets being as we are intending to go there for our honeymoon next year.

I had thought the highlight of the day would be Robert Miles playing there. Its been a while since his albums in the 90's but they had a pretty profound effect on me back then. Alas, he has lost much of his lusture. Perhaps its because so many other took what he started and made it into something else, he has become the musical equivilent of an evolutionary relic.

Kelly and the girls came down with Juan and Juans brother, was nice to have something she can bring the girls to. Tired but happy, we were on our way home by ten, had forgot this is the weekend Philly starts the latest stage in her life and moves down to University here in the smoke. Be nice to have my baby sister on our doorstep, although baby no longer.

In this post you can see smaller versions of the some of the photos I will be entering to the Thames Festival Photography competition. Let you know how I get on :-)

Thursday Antics

2005-09-17T07:40:00.000Z

LASA's birthday. Predicatbly, it was a bit shabby despite the grand setting of city hall. I wandered around and watched the other workers schmooze and simper to the almost made-its of the citys public sector. There were lots of no-shows. Finally Tracy turned up and I had someone to talk to. We went and sat on the balcony and took pictures and chatted to some of the people from our training venue, Happy Computers.

When it was mercifully over, Tracy went off to sing her heart out at Kareoke bless her. I escort Mel from HC to the pub where the other LASA people are. I last one pint. Have to get out. Persuade Mel and Henry to come with me to Addiction. The drizzle feels good and I feel cleansed and better now that im out and on my way to repetitive beats.

Addictions new home, Copyright is a lonely venue down an old industrial backstreet rounf the back of New International. Lovely Decor, a mere handful of people made their presence felt while we danced and frolicked till past 12. This was my first addiction, ill be going again though :-)

Thanks to Vikki once again for the lift home, what would we do without you babe?
Friday, deserted office, even more than usual on a Friday. Got home and nursed my fluffy head with films and big fat joints :)

Have signed up to BeThere. A new broadband service offering 24 megs download and 1meg upload for 20 quid a month! We shall see, I will beleive it when my first album gets downloaded in 30 seconds.

Its the Thames Festival this weekend! Looks like good weather, so expect lots of pics. Theres a photo competition :-)

Happy Birthday LASA

2005-09-15T08:40:00.000Z

Yes, the organisation I work for is 21 today. Hip hip Horray!
Something to do I suppose, I have the feeling I am on the verge of a very busy weekend. strait after the party I am off to Addiction with the Vixta.

We got some new pens in the office today, which proudly display the message that 'I'm made from an old computer printer' Bless them, I was struck with the irony of a 21st century device for making computers print is being turned into one of the world oldest tools. The humble pen. While one tries hard to replace the other, the other suddenly gets its own back! Fanstastic. You can see more of these products here.

Assignment 2

2005-09-13T22:00:00.000Z

So work sent me to Oxford to train student Union staff to use AIMS and assss their IT bollocks. I quite like this travelling about lark. One of the things I hate about this job is I dont feel Im really using my people skills. Difficult to do when your stuffed behind a desk. Oxfords pretty. I get to Brookes university, a half hearted protest was going on outside the building. It appeared Jeremy Clarkson was getting an honourary degree. Probably in Twatology. Anyway, come hippies had decided to protest at this, being as Oxford is MAD about bicycling, it seems the only city I have been to where cars are definately second class road users.
I found out later he got a pie in the face for his efforts. Ha!

Training was boring. I was missing the most exciting Ashes series in Cricket history. Luckily I was out of there in time to see the last hour and a halfs play. COME ON ENGLAND! Needless to say dear readers, we gave old Aus the pasting that had been coming to him for the last 18 years. Got slowly drunk in the pub with this 50 year old woman, to whom I kept having to explain the LBW rule.

Had a meeting with the Reclaim the Beach lot tonight. Showed them some films from Blunt Productions. They liked :-)

Something Missing

2005-09-11T20:57:00.000Z

FRIDAY: Trance Generation at Soundshaft. Got home full of excitement, despite only having £20 to my name, looking forward to the night ahead. Picked up Wanda and decided to bod about in Trafalgar Square for a bit. Havent spent much time there at night since its been half-pedestrianised. Its so changed. The silence is relaxing compared to the heavy traffic which used to shoot round it. Recomomend going and trying out the new seating.

Soundshaft. Good music, nice people, bad Feng Shui. Too narrow to make effective accoustics. Too hot at one end, too cold at the other. We danced. I felt those Euphoric feelings. No drugs. There is a big shortage of Disco Biscuits in London at the moment. My personal theory is that the majority has been packed off to the Ibiza sun for the chavs and teeny boppers to munch at their over priced school discos. As if most of the would know the diffference. Why not sell them sleeping pills like we used to get before we knew better?

My point is, although I COULD put the fact that I didnt have a GREAT time down to the club, or any other of a dozen things. I dont think it was dow to the lack of drugs. The only difference between that and a hundred better ones with E was that I became tired three hours early. Wanda felt it too so we left at four.

Felt a bit shite for most of saturday. Not only am I skint which I HATE, but hangover saturday mornings are little or no fun. E comedown feels great, like someone has wrapped your brain in cotton wool after rinsing it in very cold water. It gives you a great affinity for duvets, so dont plan anything the next day. Saturday night was spent in the Woodman watching a resonable Irish band. Who were actually from Dartford.

SUNDAY: Went to the start of the Brick Lane Festival. Naff. Diluted, council led shite with little or no Bengali culture left in it. GREAT curry though. Cant be arsed to write more. Sorry its a bit of a down note this week, am having a bit of a heavy one.

Lazy

2005-09-09T13:01:00.000Z

Christ I am a lazy shit. Should have put some more pictures up by now but havent. Spent most of last night finding 80's tunes on the net for the LASA 21st Birthday party next week ( the charity I work for).

Think i will leave early today

Busybusy

2005-09-08T12:12:00.000Z

Spent a very pleacent Sunday in the Park for Annettes birthda. Can you beleive this is only the second visit to Greenwich Park this whole summer? So busy! We have FINALLY booked the Hatcham Social Club for our wedding party in November. Its the 26th, if any strangers are reading this and fancy turning up, why not?

Am off to Trance Generation tomorrow, start of a very cheap weekend as I am almost completely skinted. I am allowing myself 20 whole pounds to go out with. Woohoo! the fun never stops.

Will intersperse this bland post with pictures when i get home tonight.

Tabernacle

2005-09-04T11:57:00.000Z

Im skint. Beyond skint. I really need to find ways of saving my cash if Vegas isnt going to pull me under. So last night, we went out dancing with Wanda. I took exactly 20 quid. Just to see if i could still do it.

We went to The Tabernacle. A bar and grill with a funky little dance basement. We obviously had a few drinks before we left to make sure we made the most of our 20 pounds each. Phil was DJ'ing which helped mater immensely as he had a free drinks chit behind the bar, woohoo!

Extremely funky set, im getting bang into my electro breaks at the moment, although the accoustics in the club were shite. When will clubs learn that you aint gonna get decent sound by lining all your speakers up against one wall? Cest Terrible.
Oh well, was only three quid in, and because we didnt pay for many drinks we manage to afford a taxi home. I love wandering around London at night, you see some pretty strange shit. My favorite tonight was the hanged stuffed animals you can see in the pictures. Crrazy.

Managed to find out how to use the night mode on my camera and have a new toy to play with all over again :-)

Booked!

2005-09-03T19:01:00.000Z

Thats it. Its done. The deed. This time in 8 weeks I will be a married man. Christ almighty even as i write these words I can feel the wight of responsibility. Feels like fun though, like someones shown me something spectacular I've never seen before.
Bugger cant find the link to the chapel now but suffice to say that it includes; Elvis, two elvis songs, use of the chapel, limo to and from the hotel, video, 8 portait photos, and live internet broadcast. Woohoo! How kitsch is that? hehe!
Spent Friday night round Kells getting drunk with her and Wanda and trying to sort out my stag night. Think we are all going to camp in Bournemouth now, makes more sense. All those delusions of lovely thatched barns in the country are just going to be too out of some peoples pockets.
Can Wait. Off out to a party with bird and wanda tonight to see Phil DJ.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOG!

2005-09-01T12:55:00.000Z

Happy Birthday blog! You are one year old today, and I have promised myself that I shall sit down with you tonight and mull over your first year. Its given me more than a little bit of pleasure doing this, and has been useful on more than one occasion to remind my flagging brain what the fuck it is that I do with my time/friends/money/braincells. So thanks :-)

Have been looking at places for my stag night over the last 24 hours. Dunk found this rather impressive looking place but I cant seem to get hold of the owner. Looks ok though dont it?

I am getting quietly excited about both getting married and being a stag :-)

SUNDAY - All together now

2005-08-30T18:25:00.000Z

Get Loaded in the Park. Unlike saturday we have had tickets for this months! Saw the Happy Mondays at Global and they totally rocked, despite Shuan Ryder being a complete porker these days.

Managed to socially engineer bird in with me, on my VIP pass. Went and picked up my Press packs and saw Fatboy slim and what LOOKED like Paul Oakenfold sharing a bifter round the back of the stage. Curses for me being stone cold sobre otherwise there would have been three people round that spliff ;-)

Meandered around the park with bird before it finally dawned on us that we had a spare ticket, them not having taken birds off her. You wouldnt think it would be difficult to give away a free ticket to a day long festival. Rang around the females I knew for 45 mintutes till i got through to Sue and she came down. Bit short notice i guess.

WHAT A DAY! Was hot as hell and a good excuse to top up ones tan as we bopped and chatted to the punters. Met some nice people from Bournemouth who gave some good advice opn where to go for my stag do. Met up with Sue, and the three of us went on a beer and E fuelled mission to find beer, spliff and blissed out tunes

Found all three, Fatbor Slim played an excellent set, and has a new convert in Bird I think. Personally i think hes better live than his albums, which sound a bit over produced to me. Happy Mondays played a GREAT set, but suprise of the afternoon was watching The Farm. Absolutely stunning, dont know if it was the weather, or the people or the droogs but we were blown away.

Didnt really like the farm first time around but they played all the old faves, and the whole day peaked for me when they played 'All Together Now' and brought their kids on stage, a gentle reminder maybe to us all of how long they have been doing this, and a nice kick in the teeth to the manufactured pop infesting the charts that they still are.

Heres a link to all the photos from Saturday and heres all the pictures from Sunday.

Clapham Bound

2005-08-29T12:38:00.000Z

Man, thatnks to Nebs for re-organising my Saturday, and stopping me doing everything i SHOULD have done, while replacing it with something much more fun. More of that later.
FRIDAY: Did absolutely nothing. Had a whole-day hangover with severe cold symptoms, not my favourite. Advice: If you best mate comes back from Spain with a bottle of something called Licor De Hierbas, my suggestion is to run and not look back.
South West Four; courtesy of Nebs. Blagged tickets for the price of an hours giving out flyers at the start. Not bad eh? Managed to polish off almost all the rest of my supersonicsonarradar powder. Got FAR to fucked but much nonsense was dribbled to many friends and strangers alike. Wierdest moment was bumping into Dan, one of my ex helpdesk guys from Pilat. Just handed him a flyer, and did a double take. Been years.
Remember very little about the music to be honest, caught the end of Carl Cox's set which was good. Highlight were the usual up for it crowd though. Left a bit early due to extreme mental abuse and Bird falling over in the mud bless her.
Still time for a couple of pints with Kellsbells though :-)

Beardy

2005-08-25T14:38:00.000Z

God! how did we manage to miss this from our 'strange things to do' digest? We simply MUST go next year!

ENOUGH!

2005-08-25T10:41:00.000Z

Christ, thats QUITE enough of that young man. I blame it on very strong comedown from Fridays Supersonicsonarradar powder and too much James Blunt/Coldplay.

Had a nice week despite, not too busy at work. Owen might be coming to Newcastle, woohoo! Wanda and Viks came round last night for a smoke and kebab. All is well with Wanda and her man she picked up at the Hubs beach party. Bless her! This weekend. Bank Holiday horaayy! Its Get loaded in the park on sunday, although im still not sure i will be able to take my camera as there seems to be some feud going on between harderfaster and the promoters. Oh well. Nebs might have found me a ticket to SW4 on saturday as well, so that will make up for not having any photographic evedence of the weekend i guess if he can swing it.

Critical Mass tomorrow night! Last one of the summer. Goodness where does the time go...

Melancholy

2005-08-22T09:21:00.000Z

Knowwhere. The last of its kind. No longer at the Fridge after this it was a personal mix of ups and downs. Beautiful sets as we have grown to expect, mixed with the sadness of saying goodbye to people like pups who I probably wont see that much after this as the rest of the nights at the Fridge dont really do it for me.

Was nice to see Wanda out on ANOTHER dance date with her bloke Phil. Think she might be on to a winner there :-)

Because of my trip to Birmingham I managed to leave the house without my camera, but no matter, vikki was on hand.

Spent the rest of the weekend with my mum, was sdo good to see her, it always feels like too long since the last time, especially as time goes on. Took her shopping for her birthday and on Sunday, Annie drove us down the Herne Bay. We bbq'd and played cricket in the sunshine, later watching the the pinks and reds of the sunset shimmer on the surface of the sea.

Said goodbye to her this monring in the drizzle at Lewisham. Part of me wishes I was going with her back to Cumbria, and THATS not happened for a long time. Might have been cos i was on my way to work. Not sure how much longer I can keep up this mind numbingly boring job surrounded by these people.

Melancholy has hit me hard today.

Going to the chapel and were...

2005-08-18T13:21:00.000Z

WE BOOKED IT!
Yes, its official, after some argument and more than a little hair pulling at the size of our credit card bills we are GOING TO LAS VEGAS BABY! Not only to watch Tracys good friend Annie get married but also to tie the knot ourselves, in style and by the one and only Elvis Presley. How cool is that? hehe! We are going to be staying here for ten days but hopefully we will have time to go here and here as well though.

This week...I have been mostly listening to...

2005-08-16T12:40:00.000Z

James Blunt. God Bless the man, his album is the most beauitiful thing I have heard all year. Come to think of it Coldplays new album is pretty special too. OK, I am blushing now. I'll stop. *mutter mutter Fucking Coldplay mutter mutter...used to be depressing wank..mutter*

Bloody Stumps

2005-08-15T12:30:00.000Z

FRIDAY
Went up to see the Age Concern lot on Friday night. What a mixed bag they are. Hardly got a word out of Monica or the other old bird whos name escapes me, which is a shame, god knows what ive done to deserve that. Got a better job probably. Was nice to see Dave again, must make it more regular. No trip to the Flying Scotsman this time though ;-)

Went and met the boys in covent garden and got stupid drunk. Much Hilarity, bless Paul, was nice to see him out again. Made it home eventually.

SATURDAY
"This is the most uncomfortable dragon I have ever sat on" I burble to noone in particular. Its 3:30am Sunday morning and we have just attended the Hub Soundsystem beach party, followed by a rather pleasing after party. We have been partying for 13 and a half hours and we are starting to flake, especially Tracy bless her, but like a trooper she is still dancing.

Was one of my favourites, despite the drizzle, pictures say it all yet again!
My mums coming down this week! woohoo!

Howay the lads!!

2005-08-12T15:21:00.000Z

Nice one! Dave ( of Dave and Annette ) just won tickets to sit in the exectutive box at the Arsenal Newcastle game on sunday. Guess whos going along :-)

Fruity Sundays

2005-08-08T20:37:00.000Z

Fruitstock. Without a doubt a London festival which has gone into friendliness overdrive. No bad thing as the friendliness rubs off onto the crowd. Friends, lovers, families, everyone is represented here, and the sun creams everyone together and we eat, drink and hug our way through the afternoon. You can tell when a company LIVES their work ethic and Innocent is one of thos companies. Its not very often I go to things like this and then visit the companies website to see what jobs are going...Good work peeps.

Music could have been more varied, Salsa/cuban flavours dont really do it for me, perhaps should have spent more time in the DJ tent which we visited in the end to catch the last of the Reggae/HipHop set.

We bought too much food as usual, but it was all good as people brought their appetities so nothing was wasted. Was soo nice to see people taking their rubbish to the rubbish bins ( for the most part)instead of leaving it all over the park. When the bins were full people neatly stacked their rubbish around the bins.

My faith in my fellow man is always somewhere restored by this festival. Was great to have three quarters of the DREAM TEAM there again and we boogied on which brought back memories of the week before. Met some nice Aussies in the park and roped them into this weekends beach party. Sue showed us her and Toms Wee Game. Much rolling ensued ;)

Kelly and Juan went on their first proper date thing at this festival two years ago, I like this picture of them so i'll finish on that note. See you lovely people next year.

One too many...

2005-08-08T18:50:00.000Z

SATURDAY:
The great British Beer Festival. I was expecting an Olympia, half full of rotund ageing men with beards, sniffing their beers and scratching the crotches. How surprised was I to find a (relatively) young hip crowd living it up alongside the CAMRA veterans!

Me and bird turned up and got our glasses and headed for the nearest brewery, which turned out to be one of our favourites of the day. Cains raisin beer is a heady brew but delicious.

We start as we mean to go on and round corner after corner of lovely beers, still trying to get over how many women have turned up, I really found it genuinely surprising. I mean when was the last time you saw a bird in a pub ordering a pint of cask ale? Maybe im going to the wrong pubs.

We head for the Perry. for those who dont know, Perry is pear cider. Bit sweet and sickly for my taste but we down it anyway, and are quickly joined by Hedley. More drinking ensues. We sit down.

There is a stag do next to us. Very slowly they start a beer mat fight. Different shaped whirling cardboard weapons fill the air, but we are soon dispatched by security who home in on us with military precision. I keep forgetting im pissed. We watch England get within a nails breadth of the Ashes second test.

Eventually we head home, we met some lovely people there, but the beer is taking its toll and we feel wobbly. At least WE didnt end up in Erith eh Heds? hehe! We find some baloon animal baloons on the floor and make strange mutated beasts and tie them to the District line. I like to think they are still there, bemusing commuters.

Whats in your gadget bag, Bloke?

2005-08-06T09:13:00.000Z

Ok, upon reading the musings of another blog I have decided to add a new feature to my blog keeping you up to date with my OTHER love in life as well as Bird; namely, Gadgets. Thanks to my job I am now the proud owner of a lovely shiny new Acer n30

I havent had a good play with it yet as, usefully enough it came with the worlds smallest instruction book. I found this quite refreshing forcing me to press buttons and tap through menus to find the interesting things I can do. Bird is already addicted and can already beat me at the in-built game. *Sulk*

Funny haha

2005-08-05T18:50:00.000Z

Went to Lee Hursts comedy club with Tracys Women. Bloody good it was too and only up the road from where i work. Not only was the comedy top notch, met Lee Hurst himself at the bar and stroked his dog. had to be there I guess. I was impressed though. ITS THE WEEKEND WOOHOO!

With and N and a ...oh fuck it...

2005-08-05T18:43:00.000Z

WEDNESDAY
Went down to the Hoy and watched Newcastle crash out of the Intertoto Cup. Completely outclassed by Deportivo. Hopefully Freddy Sherherd will realise hes got to put his ahands in his pockets and buy us a striker the tight fisted git. Tracys parents came down and she finally told them we are getting married in Vegas hehe!

Global Gathering : SATURDAY

2005-08-01T21:05:00.000Z

I SUGGEST YOU READ FRIDAY FIRST - NEXT ONE DOWN.....

Finshed at 3am. Still buzzing. We head back to the tent with 20,000 other people. If there is ONE thing I had to bitch about its the camping arrangements. It was cramped and stuff did get nicked and one had to be rigourously checked on going from the campsite to the main arenas. But, we got back to our tent, our disco biscuits wearing off but still happy and buzzing from the groups weve seen. We romp and giggle in the tent and make joints by the light of my head torch. But eventually we heads sag and we sleep side by side in Kellys tent.

I wake. Kelly tells me its only 830 and I should get some more sleep. I try. I cant. Too excited. I leave my sleeping ravers and adjourn to toilet block to wash and brush my teeth. About 20 of us stand in uneasy silence trying not to look into each others eyes and we brush. Apprehensive at doing this usually simple but intimate task in the company of so many after such a night.

Daves Revelation of the trip: Wet wipes are mana from heaven at festivals!
I go back and unpack my flourecent orange jumpsuit. When im ready, the others are poking their sleepy heads out of the tent. A man down from us plays a very nice rendition of 'Hit me baby one more time' on his guitar. We head down to find some breakfast. The queues are immense. We find one that sells vegitarian food for Sue. When we get to the front, the only thing they are selling are manky looking bacon rolls. We also notice that while the sign says £3, they are actually selling them for £4. We munch one anyway in silence while we feed our excess bread to Sue.

Back in the tent, it starts to drizzle. We head for the entrance. Security is up. There are queues and many more police dogs. We get nervous. We had back to the tent to think up new hiding places for our contraband. We lounge around and watch the drizzle fall through the tent window, we chat and admire the beautiful collection of wellies many of the girls are wearing.

We decide the droogs are too risky and neck some before going to the campsite beer tent. We come up over the first beer, we meet people and dribble nonsense to them. We meet two lovely girls, and after some social engineering one of them offers to smuggle in our drugs in that hiding place that only ladies have. I dont know wether to laugh or hug her.

We go in. There is a moment of panic when we cant find the girl who has stashed our goods. Bollocks knew this was too good to be true. No there she is, we buy her a beer and find some toilets, turns out the sniffer dogs took out the person in front and behind here. Shit thats bad.

We take more Discos, we dance, we party, we buy laughing gas, and more beer. Someone gives Kelly poppers and she disappears just as we meet up with Liz and Tash. Not planned, just randomly in the crowd, and thats the order of the day, a loose afffiliation of people seeking and finding each other in one big hazy bubble as the beats crash around us. I loose Sue and Lewis. I make for the Gurn.net stage and bop to Benz's set for a while. Then suddenly my Dream Team are back around me and cuddle and jump and go and find Josh Wink.

Man, this guy was the highlight of my festival, it felt like and almost religious experience. Perfectly executed set, although he didnt play Dont Laugh which was a pity. DJ Vibes set afterwards was good too. Its about 4am...we are seriously flagging, we have no drugs which is just as well i dont think I could take any more E.

We wander about in the darkness and dancing lights, we make for the Polysexual tent but the beats are to frenetic and we make for the campsite happy but cold. The hours of dancing and bopping have sped by and now the party is over. We sleep and wake after just an hour. Pack up the tent in the freezing drizzle, head for the bus. A perfect experience, we arrive back in Victoria and its still midday, we go for all you can eat curry and trtis and then the dream team are split. We hug in the street and promise to do it again next year.

The wave of euphoria has passed up the beach and I feel like the flotsam that waves leave in their wake. Left stranded on the sand by the retreating water. Over the next few days I eat and sleep for 24 hours, and wait for the weekend....

Global Gathering - FRIDAY

2005-08-01T11:16:00.000Z

Well, its over :-(

All those months off looking forward to it and its over in a hail of drink drugs and repetitiva beats. WELL worth the wait despite some initial setbacks.

We made the mistake of going out on the Thursday night. Only for a couple, we told ourselves. Yeah right. Up on the Friday morning and juice is required already to keep the hangover at bay. We make it to Victoira to get the coach. Plenty of time. We have Rum and Coke and Mutton rolls for the journey. WE get on the coach and the bus driver takes £2 'donations' from people enabling us to smoke huge joints. Someone passes down a hardcore tape and we listen to Dougal strut the decks and the southern countryside roll by.

That is until the coach grinds to a halt. Yeah. It had to happen today didnt it? After an hour of waiting its obvious there is nothing wrong with the coach that a little Diesel wont sort out. Needless to say my letter of complaint is in the post. But, while we are all piling out of the coach we drop disco bicuits to make the time go faster.

More driving. More Dougal. We arrive at Long Marston. The queue for camping is huge. The party started almost an hour ago. We look despondant as we walk back round to the front after being told thats where to get our press passes. Luckily, after we get them the very nice security man pulls the gates up and we bypass the scowling queue with big grins on our faces.

We head for the security checks. I walk in front, at some pace. This is it. Will they find our booze and drugs? 5 meters. Someone shouts at the security guard in front of me. He moves towards the voice. I head for the Dave sized hole he has ade in the security line. I pass, I dont look back, I glance down at the half filled drugs amnesty bin, I glance at the huge pile of confiscted alchahol, people look at me, unsure, I smile back and tell them to have a good one. Im in...I look behind me at the smiling extatic faces of my friends. Not only did we get in intact, we didnt even get checked! Vikkis good karma text comes true.

Kelly looks on as we put up all three tents in the slight drizzle. Kylies tent looks like a drowned rat and thats the best it looks for the rest of the weekend. We crawl into Kellys for Vodka and coke.

We head for the main enclosure, more security, Lewis gets stopped, but grin tactics win again and we are in. The night flows past at dizzying speed; Kosheen, Happy Mondays, Mylo, Underworld, 2 Many DJs. Pictures speak better so you can see all the pictures here.

Blag Bag

2005-07-25T17:11:00.000Z

Look what I managed to blag!

Oh yus! VIP passes for me and the guys! must remember my swimming trunks for the Jacuzzi!

Nothing...

2005-07-25T12:30:00.000Z

Christ I did nothing yesterday except watch films and eat milk and cookies. Someone else has used one of my photos :-)

The Return

2005-07-24T15:50:00.000Z

Decided a while back to haev an easy one this weekend as we have Global Gathering next week. So, for once, Friday nothing saturday nothing. That right. Nothing. Not a sausage. Just stayed in and watched films and watched bird sleep on the couch.

But, Saturday night! the return of the orginal and best! Reclaim the Beach is BACK! Its nice to be on the inside this year, although not much different. I fetched and carried, it pissed down so I built a fire. That encouraged people onto the beach and apart for some generator trouble was one of my favorite parties :-)

Was nice to see Mark down there, AND he stayed till the end! Good lad! Today its left me feeling battered though. Another day of films and burger eating.

SHORT WEEK NEXT WEEK THOUGH! Mum not coming down any more. Afraid of the bombs. Will try and persuade her again in a couple of weeks hopefully. Global. Almost here. BRING IT ON!

sings 3rd finger, left haaand

2005-07-22T08:47:00.000Z

Yes. Thats right! Me and bird bought our wedding rings last night! Its started off innocently enough. We stopped for pie and mash in Goddards and then went to a Champagne and Strawberries night at Tracys favourite jewellers. We had talked about having a look. But as the chapagne flowed and we tried on more rings I eventually found one that didnt make me look completely gay. This is a rarity for me, I dont do Jewellery but this one looked really nice :)

We celebrated with a very expensive cocktail from the Time Bar. The nice man behind the bar gave us an evilly powerful shot on the house. Ta mate!

So! Its real! We are getting married! I have an excited mixture of The Fear and apprehension in my belly. Or that could be the chicken wings we got on the way home.

Comment from someone on Harder Faster: " So will she be Mrs Bumper?"

haha!

Big Brother. Death Approaching

2005-07-21T08:53:00.000Z

I love watching the retarded big brother contestants batter each others over inflated egos until one of the breaks down. It actually gives me pleasure to see them cry. Im wrong in the head arent I.
Viks came round and we got curry from Darjeeling yet again. It still beggers beleif that about 50% of the curries on their menu are £2.50
Tried and failed to watch the remake of Psycho.

Buggered

2005-07-20T11:01:00.000Z

God I was buggered last night. Had a small glass of my Irish Whiskey and settled on the sofa and watched Creep with bird. Its was actually better than I had heard/expected. Acting was a bit ropey in places as was some of the screenplay but there were lots of jumps, tube tunnels scare me a bit anyway after reading the last of James Herberts Rats Trillogy when I was about 13. Then tried to watch Waterworld on TV but Costner makes me pass out so I did.

Heres a link to all the photos from Friday

Heres a link to all the photos from Sunday

Pauls House

2005-07-18T13:31:00.000Z

SATURDAY: Rise festival. No way...I wake up every couple of hours for another piece of pizza and a snippet of some program. Paul Rings, we are supposed to be going round. I still feel like shit but try to get my head into shape and kick bird off the other sofa. ( Not litterally obviously!). We go to Pauls with beers. Meet his flatmates, take a tour of his ( much improved) new place. We shoot the shit and go out onto his roof, trade songs with a party going on down the street. We eat slushy tequila and vodka ice shots. Come in about 1.30 am absolutely buggered.

SUNDAY: No matter how tired I am I never seem to be able to sleep for more than a few hours a night. I dont know wether this is a good thing or a bad thing. I wake up at 8.30am and do my photosets from Friday. We and bird go to the Hub Soundsystem beach party. It rocks. I have been going to Reclaim the Beachs for about 4 years but these guys are catching up fast and have a very impressive style. Cant wait for the next one already.

MONDAY: My head is fuzzy and I want to go home

Longest Night

2005-07-18T12:44:00.000Z

FRIDAY:
5pm Friday at work dragged as only friday at work can. Escaped and sped down to Clapham to pick up my disco biscuits. I momentarily worried about the prospect of taking 60 out with me but this was immediately replaced by the thought of the night ahead.
Started off at Birds work BBQ. Very posh. Not used to being called Sir. Makes me realise what a bunch of useless waster fuckers lawyers really are. Bloody rich though. Ate minimal food and listend to people exclaim over work collegues partners. Was of no interest to me. Nice to talk to Emma C though. Was bored. Couldnt help it. Went to the toilets and necked half a disco. Felt better. Made my excuses and left before someone offered me onto the dancefloor.
10pm Met Liz from Harder Faster on the tube on the way to Brixton. Forced her to come for a beer with me while I waited for Sue and Kells. Came up. Dribbled nonsense to a trio outside SW9. Sue and Kells turn up and we head for Huje. Repetitive beats run down my back with the sweat of my first dance. Meet LisaLondon also from Harder faster. Snap anything that moves, concious that we cant stay long as Knowwhere beckons. Huje is a bit harder than Knowwhere, but thats what makes it a GREAT place to go beforehand.
1.30am. Knowwhere. Home from home. The next few hours pass in a blur of dancing feet and babbled conversation. We hold our arms in the air and play laser games in our heads as the Knowwhere crew spin another classic. Coloured lights. Bubbles. Pups admiring my blonde locks.

6am: Alas no Vikster this time. Allows us to go to the after party at Fire for once. We ventur out into the blazing sunlight. Its all too real after hours of sweaty darkness. We hail a cab. Fire is paradise although we are all starting to feel the force of the nights exertions. We chat inthe darkness and seek out Tash who also made it down. There are K-heads everywhere. We leave about 9.30. I fall asleep three times on the way home, catching snippets of what kelly is trying to tell me and trying to piece them together and form a reply. This is difficult as I have often slept through the middle all importent bit. Arrive home. Tracy makes me watch Gone with the Wind. I pass out in seconds.

Tiny Dancer

2005-07-14T21:57:00.000Z

Song of the moment: Tiny Dancer - Elton John

Wednesday. Training tomorrow. As always I am nervous. Not about my ability to take the course but about my ability to strike a rapport with the punters which is the crux of my training technique. Met Kris after work and played pool. Gave her money for lots of disco biscuits in prep for Global Gathering. Always a pleasure to meet up with her bless. Heds came down. Was good to see him and he seems in fine fettle considering recent news. We'z all thinking of ya last week mate.

Thursday. Training went well. The more I worry the better it goes. So hot. 2 Minutes Silence. We ajourn to the street. Everything stops. Motorists pullover, office workers stand in silence at the side of the road in the baking heat. We stare at each other across the street as the seconds tick by and we remember those who were not lucky enough to see this glorious English Summers day.

Evening, we take Annette and Dave to the Dacre Arms, one of South East Londons best hidden pubs for which we are grateful. Sleep now. Heavy weekend. I can feel the inner me pushing at my boundaries already. Perhaps not a good thing but something one must accomplish anyway in order to stave off the feelings that one is over thirty! Bring it On!

Mark Thomas

2005-07-13T11:33:00.000Z

Blunket you C**t!

Typical. Hillarious. If you havent seen Mark Thomas live you really should. If you feel at all disenchanted with the way the country/your life/the world is going watching Mark Thomas I imagine is a bit like watching the Pope speak if you happen to be a zealous catholic. God, to be one of his research or setup team must just be the best job on the planet. Every time I see him he makes my inner anarchist roar and beat his chest while my inner capitalist cringes and shudders with superstitious awe.

Fucking Fantastic.

Lovely people behind the bar drew me a map to get myself home from deepest north london.

The Warmest Flat

2005-07-11T20:23:00.000Z

Friday Night. I am blonde. we take my new blondeness out to the Old Tigers Head in Lee. We drank ad made merry with Kelly and Juan. We made fun of the poor disco man until he played Rhythm is a Dancer for me at which time all was good. We finally met our neighbours on the way back! Invited them in and we drank their Belgian beers, I marinated some steaks and we ate drank and shot the shit till 3 am.

Saturday, after the bombings London is returning to normal. Its easy to forget so we read the papers and watch the news to remind ourselves of our affliction. Dave and Annettes flatwarming and boy did we warm it. they have done it up and it looks lived in, like a home should. Was nice to see Annettes mum and sister again but I spent most of my time outside chatting. Is so hot. feels like Greece.

Sunday. Cant be bothered to volunteer for the Ahoy Centre at Peoples Day so we sit in the sun and watch vibrant multicultural Lewisham celebrate itself. I love peoples day. Its such a mix of very impressive art and entertainment, and complete shite. Recommend it to anyone. even when its shite its highly amusing. We particularly enjoyed the absolutely rubbish child rocks bands whos inconsistent mumblings were only punctured by the occasional ' IHATE YOU!' or 'LEAVE US ALONE!'. Was almost a complete caricature of Harry Enfields Teenager character.

And so, its Monday again. Felt hideously depressed for a good deal of the day. Someone threatening LASA over something I dealt with last week. Although its all blown over, still made me feel shit. Feel better now, Monday is over.

We are sitting here watching Switchblade Romance, one of the most horrific films I have seen in ages. Maybe that’s why I feel better.

Blondes have more fun

2005-07-08T14:45:00.000Z

On a lighter note...I am becoming a blonde. 45 minutes to go.....

Attack II

2005-07-07T20:22:00.000Z

I was going to be sitting here dribbling on about the weekend some more and outlaying my plans for the weekend but as the days events unfolded it became clear that’s not what’s going to happen. The day started like so many other. Dark overcast skies accompanied on my walk from home to Lewisham station where like on so many other days I lost myself in Northern Lights. The rain spat and I boarded a train to New Cross, thankful of the warm carriage, even in July.

When I got to the New Cross East London Line platform it was clear something was wrong. There were a lot of people waiting for a train, more than normal. You get used to a routine and to seeing things, even people the more you commute. We were told there was a powercut on the East London line and to get a train into London Bridge to continue our journey. We watched with some amusement as a tube train limped into the platform and sat there. Doors closed like some forlorn animal, lost its reason to exist.

London Bridge. Alarms. Police everywhere. confusion. They are still throwing the commuters the stale power cut line but even they don’t believe it you can see it in their eyes. I phone work and am told to go home. I get the deserted train and get home to find the awful truth. Bombs have ripped through londons heart and even as I write these words who can say how many have lived and died. I watched the news all day and kept those on harder faster without TV's and radios informed as to the news. Harrowing scenes of ripped apart double deckers, one of Londons most potent symbols litter the news. We are all thinking the same thing. No one could have survived.

After a day watching these images, im impressed and my heart swells with pride, at the emergency services, at the commuters who dont panic but help each other, even at my new friends on harder faster who offer beds, lifts and support, and any news they can on the unfolding disaster to others who post asking after their friends, caught in the middle with no phones and no information.

Later I meet Tracy and we hug, not talking about it too much, I still feel kind of saved. I know that sounds wierd but I could have quite easily been on that Aldgate East Train and have been twice this week already.

I sit at home now, thinking of those who got up this morning but haven’t seen the sunset that I have just seen. Of their families still waiting by the phone for news of their sons and daughters, father mothers and friends.

Thats all for now. Much love to all people everywhere.

Attack

2005-07-07T12:25:00.000Z

Hi everyone

Just a short message to say me and bird are ok in light of the attacks, thankyou for all your messages I hope those in London who havent sounded off already will do so soon. My work station ( Algate East ) was hit, luckily I was on the train before so I worked from home. Nothing happened in Victoria, Tracy is fine

Text me if you havent already...

Dave and Tracy

Sunday Pictures

2005-07-04T09:05:00.000Z

Did nothing but loll about. Me and bird went to Tripti Tandoori for their sunday all you can eat buffet but that was it. Here are the pics from the fantastic beach party!

Trance on the Thames July

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